It has been a while since I’ve been introspective, I suppose as due to having more pressing concerns. To sum it up, we were transported to Avernus in pursuit of Elturel and finding some method of bringing it back to our plane.
Since then, we’ve been hounded by demons and fiends, and have been in a near constant struggle to stay alive and sane. I’ve had little time for introspection, although I had found myself struggling to keep myself from descending into the despair and deprivation that I see when I look at the occupants of this plane – like those poor wretches at Fort Knucklebones.
I suppose it all started long ago – back in Menzoberanzan, when I was younger, and was being taught that kindness, mercy, honor, generosity, and their attendant traits were all signs of weakness. Lloth always preferred to keep her followers divided and untrusting of one another. Likely because it made them easier to control. I questioned those teachings then, and I outright deny and repudiate them now.
We have been in Avernus quite a while now – time seems to have little meaning in this place – and have accomplished some good deeds – releasing a titan and a unicorn from this place among them. In that deed – releasing the unicorn, I have found a little bit of redemption, and have acquired a guide. The celestial Mooncolor has consented to be my guide and mentor. At first she was a little reluctant – due to my heritage, but she apparently recognized that I was more than what my city, race and family made me. In her, I feel I have found a magical and moral mentor unlike any I envisioned.
I am still in danger, of course, and will be the rest of my life – either here in Avernus or back in our plane, being hunted by other drow as a renegade and traitor. Or just for money, as no normal drow does something for another without payment.
But if I die, at least I will know I die in a decent cause, something bigger and better than myself.
